The Writing Waiting Life

At a reading for Chimamanda Adichie's latest book Americanah

It's been almost a year since I made the decision to go full-throttle with my career as a writer and author   i.e. quit my full-time gig and figure out how to live off of my writing. I thought the move would be about cutting the corporate cord and living a life of freedom and writing, and to a large extent it has been -- but mostly this new life has been about waiting.

Waiting for checks to arrive. Waiting for word from editors, agents, clients, book store owners, educators, freelance staffing agencies... Waiting to get to a place where I'm not on the way, but have actually arrived, you know?

I knew writing required patience. I pitched agents for four years before I got one, and when Powder Necklace was sold some two months later to Simon and Schuster, I waited two years for the book to be released. As I wrote my second book, I waited throughout my sleep for morning to come so I could repeat my ritual of writing on the bus on the way in to Manhattan, then writing in the library till I had to log off and go to work.

But it wasn't until I left my day job that I had a "mirror moment" with the level of patience required. It turns out my job offered more than a steady check; it kept me sufficiently distracted from how much I need to write. It kept the stakes relatively low. Now, everything has changed.

This change is for the better, I know. But better is hard work. As is waiting. Thank God for the sign posts along the way, those moments, that indicate I am on my way.



This weekend, I attended an amazing brunch Ebony.com hosted for its contributors. Even though the voice of insecurity (and the multiple glasses of wine I'd drunk at a get-together with friends the night before) had me doubting whether I really belonged amidst the group of fiercely intelligent, purposeful, powerful women in the room; I reminded myself that all the years of pitching editors who would ignore my queries, all the free articles I wrote back in the day, the credits I slowly added to my byline had led to that moment of pause and celebration. Those moments bookend the work. And the waiting.

Totally unrelated (though it's all related, I believe), I attended a conversation Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie had with her editor in promotion of her fourth book Americanah. It was so inspiring to see her mainly because I think she's a good model for how to be when you do "arrive". As she notes in the video, you remind yourself and others that you worked for it, you acknowledge the privilege, and then you get on with the work.

I share my thoughts on Chimamanda at the 11:20 mark.

My New Writing Life

Forgive the silence! I've been adjusting to my life as a full-time writer.

Back in June, I resigned from my day job to focus on figuring out how to "just write". It's been a grind and a half.

I imagined myself flying through my third book (which I've started!) with all this new time devoted to my craft. Instead, it's been a balancing act of pitching editors to write articles, selling my copywriting skills to ad agencies; then writing the work I've been blessed to get, and chasing the resulting checks.

When I add up the time I spend pitching, writing articles/copy, and check-hunting, I have just a little more than I used to to work on my personal projects. But even that sliver has been precious. I feel myself becoming more observant and in tune with my creative self/voice, and more attentive to what's happening beyond my life. I'm also taking more time to keep up with the business of the book industry and how it affects writers (see my blog People Who Write), taking classes, and connecting with others writers (I recently became active in my church's writers group).  

Again, it's a major hustle. I do not want to sugarcoat this new life of mine. But the fact that it has been possible to pay my bills has been exciting. It has completely changed the way I think about money, work, and my time. Now that I'm paid per hour, everything I choose to do with my time "counts." Alas, my time has become money. It's helped me to get better-ish at prioritizing, more aggressive about pitching, and a little more fearless about "putting myself out there".

In the meantime, I've had to have many talks with myself about money. I used to be so bad with money -- a huge spender. Then, I started saving to move out of my parents' house, and became a Suzie Orman disciple, a constant "Can I Afford This?" refrain in my head. That mindset helped me cut a lot of the frivolity out of my life, but as I've gone through this new round of cuts, if you will, I've learned to allow myself more indulgences, and appreciate them without chiding myself.

Above all, I've learned how much I love writing. I've always known this, but I feel a new respect for the gift and the craft. I'll try to be better about keeping you posted.